Shop 'Til You Drop! ~ Re-visited...

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Shop 'Til You Drop!

I find that shopping with women completely depends upon your perspective, and on your specific relationship with the woman concerned.
For instance, shopping with your partner can be more stressful than shopping with a friend who happens to be a lady. Also, the type of shopping can vary the mood accordingly.

Food and grocery shopping is far worse than clothes shopping in my opinion.
I can do my food shopping in any supermarket with no problems whatsoever. I tend to shop in the supermarket which is nearest to where I live, irrespective of price as I think most items even themselves out in the end. In Slough & Bristol it was Tesco, in Bath & Bognor it was Morrisons, in Cheltenham & Chichester it was Waitrose ~ I can adapt to their respective layouts pretty quickly ~ it must be all my previous years working in retail I guess! Lol.
But grocery shopping with one ex-partner in particular was a complete nightmare!
Firstly, it was done on a weekly basis which required the inevitable and lengthy list.
Then I proceeded to push a trolley behind my other-half as she weighs up her options between brand, price, and value on every single item. Two hours later we may have reached the checkout if I was lucky!
And I'm not being a typical man I assure you - I would've quite happily taken the list on my own and completed all the items in a very timely fashion...although no doubt I would've been queried on one or two choices when I got home! Ha ha.

Now, clothes shopping is another matter entirely.
If your partner is trying on clothes and asking for your honest opinion, then you feel like the fella in the latest Fosters Ad - do you tell the truth? Whereas, if you're shopping with a female friend you can be a bit more subjective, and they also seem to welcome your honest view as friends don't tend to hold back.
If your partner asks you, "does my bum look big in this?"; it's not always wise to be honest.
But if a friend asks you the same question...well, what do you reckon, readers?

I must say that I am extremely patient when shopping with women, and I actually quite enjoy it especially if I'm only tagging along and not expected to contribute too much.
To highlight my patience I can recall one time visiting 17 stores along Oxford Street, London with my then girlfriend looking for a pair of jeans, which invariably required three pairs per shop to be tried on in the changing rooms. Over 50 sampled pairs of jeans later and guess what...that's right, we went back to the very first shop to purchase the favoured pair!

Compare this to a lovely day recently spent shopping in Southampton with a good friend, although it was mainly for my benefit.
I knew exactly what I wanted and more-or-less got everything straight away. I then had no problem walking around the ladies boutiques with my friend as she browsed through all the latest trends and fashions.
This was fuelled on a Costa breakfast, and then washed down afterwards with a beer in the sun though it has to be said!

Finally, I must confess to having trouble with identifying clothing for women which I can guarantee that they'd like, as women can be very fussy and particular with their personal preferences...although this is a generalisation as I know of one noticable exception.
There was a lovely lady in my life with a taste in clothes and shoes which I could just pick out straight away.
I could venture into Per Una section in Marks & Spencer and I'd have no problem at all in finding the right item, size and colour for her at any time, in any season...if only all you ladies had similar tastes! Lol.

Solo Steve

Dublin Airport

Greetings from Ireland ~ I'm writing this updated blog from Dublin Airport as I await my flight back to Gatwick, and subsequent train journey back home to Chichester.
I've enjoyed a fantastic time with great friends and 'family', including downing a few pints of guinness whilst in the gorgeous city of Kilkenny. I've found myself saying 'grand' and 'lads' all the time, as the 'Irishness'
rubbed off onto me, but no doubt my usual cockney-like twang will return imminently.

'My Observations of a Single Male' will continue, but will do so now in the guise of a new blog starting later this week which will be entitled 'Ramblin' Man!'
This seems very appropriate as I do tend to ramble around location wise, as my previous blog entitled 'A Spiritual Journey To Find A Home' confirmed, and I also tend to ramble on a bit with regards to my writing too! Lol.

So 'Ramblin' Man!' will probably be published on a weekly basis, and won't concentrate on one particular subject matter, but just contain my ramblings and thoughts as I see fit at the time, and I'll be signing off in my new identity as Ramblin' Steve.

Until next time...hoping you all enjoyed a fantastic Easter Bank Holiday & wishing you all a lovely Royal Wedding Bank Holiday too!

Ramblin' Steve

Lonely Hearts Club

Welcome to my last blog for a while as I'm flying off into the sunset...well, I'm actually only taking a short flight to Ireland for a long Easter Weekend break for a well deserved rest! Lol.
'Lonely Hearts Club' refers to specific times of the year or events when being a single person can be especially difficult.
I've already mentioned weddings in my 'Dating & Escort Agencies' blog, but the other two particular dates in the calendar I want to concentrate on are February 14th & December 31st.

Valentines Day can be an upsetting time if you are single, especially if you've recently broken up with someone. I try not to dwell too much on the past, but I can recall one recent year where despite being single I actually had a great time.
I was living with a friend who had recently got back with her previous ex-boyfriend, and I didn't want to play gooseberry all weekend, as this particular year Valentine's Day fell on a Saturday.
I contacted a friend who was also single, travelled down to see her by train and booked myself into a plush hotel. We were, and we remain, just good friends, but we had a great weekend.
Just to be in the company of a lovely lady was good enough for me.
We spent the Friday night in a friendly pub, ate, drank and watched a live band play, and then on the Saturday we met up again and enjoyed another lovely day in each other's company.
The ironic thing was that when I returned alone to my hotel late on the Saturday night, I went into the bar for a nightcap and saw numerous couples supposedly celebrating their own Valentine's Day...and all I saw were miserable people without a single smile amongst them!

Generally on Valentine's Day I send a card and a little gift to the lady in my life...if I have one at that time, and if not then I may still send a card to someone special in my life, to let them know that I'm thinking of them.

New Year's Eve can be a problem if you're single, but for me personally it's never been an issue.
In the past as my great friend Glenn Courtney always celebrates his birthday on New Year's Eve, a party always took place around his house with loads of great friends, so I always went there.
Alternatively on a couple of occassions whilst I was living in Bath, these same friends came across from Slough and stayed with me for New Year, and we spent the evening celebrating in my local pub, The George & Dragon, back in the good old days when my great friends, Jimi & Denn were running it.
Since Glenn and his lovely wife Ruth returned to Ireland, I haven't really bothered that much with seeing the New Year in at events or parties.
I've been quite happy to watch Jools Holland on TV with a bottle of Jack Daniels for company, and then at midnight I may nip outside with a celebratory cigar to watch the fireworks!
Last year was an exception and I went out with my good mate Curph and his lovely wife Leah to two seperate functions, and a good time was had by all.
Finally with regards to this historic event on the social calendar I can make one other observation...
It doesn't matter too much on New Year's Eve if you're single, because at midnight any bugger will turn around and give you a big smacker anyway!

I've pretty much exhausted my observations on being a single male for now, and I like to think that in the not too distant future I shall no longer be able to class myself as single anymore...time will tell I guess?
So once I decide on a different subject matter and overcome any 'writer's block' syndrone, I shall return with something completely new...watch this space!
Take care & best wishes.

Solo Steve

The Forever Debatable Questions

'The Forever Debatable Questions' are:

1.Can you keep in touch with your ex'es?
2.Can you be 'just good friends' with the opposite sex?

And my answers are:


I was tempted to leave this blank! Lol.

But from my perspective the answer to both questions is a definitive 'YES'.

With one notable exception every split from my ex'es has been amicable.
I no longer keep in touch with them all, but should our path's ever cross, then I like to think that there'd be no problem between us.
There are a couple of ex'es who I still keep in touch with, and I am extremely pleased that they have found happiness in their lives...funnily enough, this both involves having their lives enriched by having a lovely baby, which in itself puts a different perspective on their lives.
In my heart of hearts part of me probably wishes that I was still with them, but I am genuinely happy for them, and I will always wish them well.

As for being just good friends with the opposite sex... I believe this is possible providing you have complete trust with each other.
Also it is essential that their 'other halves' have complete trust in them too, if they are in a relationship.
I have quite a few female friends who are just that ~ friends.
But their friendship is priceless to me, and I count myself very fortunate to have them in my life.
Those that have boyfriends or husbands know that they I am respectful of their relationship, and those that are single but not wanting to get involved in anything heavier with me, all know that I would never cross that line, as their friendship is far too valuable to me to ruin by overstepping the mark.
I'll admit to some cases of a bit of harmless flirting or a few inuendo's being shared, but that's just my cheeky-chappyiness coming out! Lol.

There was one occassion that I did overstep the mark in the past, and I deeply regret it to this day.
Although in time this female friend forgave me, I know the friendship was forever tarnished due to my stupidity. This lady now lives in Australia and I'm not sure if she reads my blog, although she does have access to it...but if you're reading this then please accept my humble apology once again.
And might I add, that I'm so pleased that your life has taken off so successfully in Oz, and I really wish you all the happiness in the world.

As recently as yesterday, I spent the day in the company of two wonderful lady friends ~ firstly a lovely pub lunch with my married & pregnant friend Elona in Theale, and then a beer in the sun in Winchester with my gorgeous single friend Jo...which just goes to prove that you can be just friends with the opposite sex.

So I think that justifies my positive answers to the two forever debatable questions, and I hope that all the female friends remain in my life as I LOVE YOU ALL ♥♥♥

Solo Steve

Materialistic Women

As you get older some of your ideals and values may well change.
Certain people feel stability within a relationship should be based more on the financial aspects than the emotional ones, and although this isn't a status that I believe in, I do understand those who do.
I've always believed that if you truely love someone, then it doesn't matter what you earn, what car you drive, how big your house is, or how much money you have.
Unfortunately, there are those who do so I have to respect their opinions and agree to differ.

If I were to be categorised in this way, then I would currently be a waste of space!
No car, no house of my own or mortgage, and no money in the bank.
They say if you earn the same as your wage then you're doing okay.
Well I'm only a third of the way there on that scale at the moment, but I did once get close.
When I was working nights with TNT and helping out during the day in the office for a period of time, my relevant P60 for that year came close to eclipsing my age...and I was quite proud of that! (thanks Lucy)

I mentioned in a recent blog about dating an ex-top-shelf model/lapdancer...well, she fits into the category of a materialistic woman.
She drove a flash new BMW convertible, owned a massive house in the country, and had whatever she wanted in life. Yet when I look back to all the times we went out, she never once went 'dutch' or put her hand in her own pocket...I always paid for everything.
Now I'm not sure if this means I'm a soft touch, or whether her riches were gained by these methods she used, or whether her wealth was actually an illusion, but it proves my theory and moto in my life to be true:

Poor in life ~ Rich in love.

Solo Steve

Nethanderal Men

What is it with nethanderal men and the way these numpties always seem to end up with a gorgeous woman? Many's a time I've been sat in bar with a mate, crying into our beer about being single (Lol), only to see a lovely girl stuck with a monster!
Now, I'm not just going on about his appearance, as looks can be deceptive (I should know), but their whole demeanour and attitude towards their female companion absolutely stinks!
And what's worse is that the girl puts up with it and actually seems to enjoy it ~ weird.

I guess it comes down to the old phrase of 'it's always a bad ass that makes the girl's heart beat faster', and I can understand that to a certain extent. I know women who are attracted to the bad boys of this world, and fair enough, but why tolerate them if they totally disrespect women?

Maybe it's just me being brought up in an old fashioned way, where it's correct to be respectful to others, and especially being respectful towards women.
Walking on the outside nearest the road, opening doors, pulling back her chair in a restaurant, are just a few of the mannerisms instilled into me which will no doubt remain forever...as I'm too old to change my ways now anyway.

The worst thing that can be said to me, and it has been said countless times, is:
"you're really nice" or "you're really sweet" because you know this will be immediately followed by a "but...".
Yes I am kind, caring, loving, generous and thoughtful, but 'sweet'...come on, this can't be right!

At the end of the day if women want to put up with such behaviour and lack of respect from their man, then fair enough if it makes them happy, but... (omg, I'm doing it now!)

Solo Steve

Dating & Escort Agencies

If you've been single for a while then it's inevitable that at some stage or other, the subject of dating agencies will arise. It might be of your own thinking, or more likely it'll be a friend pushing you in that direction.
Partly to satisfy my own curiousity, and partly to prevent some of my friends continually advising me to do so, I registered with a well known and heavily advertsied dating agency...not that I had much joy!

I dare say that there are some wonderful romantic love stories of people meeting on the internet using these dating agencies...but I wasn't one of them.
After the pretty intense and gruelling on-line questionaire I sat back and awaited the flood of interest! Lol.
Unbelievably, I was receiving about 20 so-called compatible matches every day.
Yet after closer scrutiny, very few were actually compatible to my original preferences ~ they were either outside the location range, didn't meet the physical or intellegence parameters I set, or they were just completely off the scale!

However, within one monthly period, I did receive serious interest from four local ladies.
The first I went on a date with and although we enjoyed a good night, there was no spark there for me.
The other three all let me down by either having a change of heart, or a last minute case of nerves!
All three set up a date, time and venue for a date, yet all three bailed out at the last moment.
One had a migraine, and the other two suddenly decided to go back to their ex-boyfriends.
I was understanding towards all three women, but I never heard from the girl with the migraine again, and although the other two later admitted that things didn't work out second time around with their boyfriends, they had decided to take themselves 'off the market' (their words, not mine) for the time being.
So feeling totally disillussioned I unsubscribed from the agency, and thought I'd stick to the conventioanl methods of meeting women, such as in a bar, at the supermarket, walking the dog etc...

With regards to escort agencies, well I guess there may be a seedy side wrongly associated with them.
People's pre-conceived perceptions may be of back-street brothels and dark alley-ways, but this isn't the case believe me.
I speak from experience, but not neccesarily in the way that you may be thinking, although I must confess to going through a rather hedonistic phase in my life for a while when I thought my life was going to end, so I wanted to go out with a bang (excuse the pun) and I spent all my money on women and booze...I must have wasted the rest!
No, my real knowledge and education on this subject was gained by dating an ex-top-shelf model & lapdancer for a while. Hearing her stories and enjoying her company put a lot of these misplaced perceptions into perspective.

Looking at it from another viewpoint from a lonely man's perspective, think about functions like weddings for a minute, if you will.
There is nothing worse than being a spare part at a wedding. I've attended many weddings as a single person and I've been lucky in that there were plenty of friends in attendance making me feel welcome and not making me feel left out.
Besides, there's always the possibility of chatting up one of the other guests or better still, a bridesmaid!
But imagine if you were due to attend a wedding and you didn't know anyone there other than the bride and groom, then surely under these circumstances it would be worth hiring a companion to boost your confidence and self-esteem? Just a thought...

In summary I can draw one definitive conclusion in the differences between dating agencies and escort agencies ~ with an escort agency, you know exactly what you are getting including the cost, whereas with a dating agency, you never quite know if what you're expecting is for real, and you have no idea how much it's going to cost you in the long-run!

Solo Steve