Babies & Children

As you get older and meet new women, it's only natural that if they are of a similar age then they will have a history too (I hate the word baggage)...and in some cases this can obviously include kids.
Now, I love kids...as anybody who really knows me will confirm.
So the idea of taking on somebody else's children has never been a concern for me ~ my feelings are simply that if you love the woman, then you love everything about her...and the children are part of her life in such a big way.
I also know that any decent mother would lay down their own life for the sake of their kids, and this only makes me love the woman more.

As far as I'm aware I haven't got any children floating around. When you live to be an old man like me it's inevitable that you have the odd scare or two, but nobody has ever turned up on my doorstep with child in tow, and I haven't been contacted by the CSA as yet...but I have always moved around a lot, so maybe they just haven't caught up with me yet? Lol.

The nearest I came to being a Dad was when I looked after a friends little girl, as explained in one of my previous blogs on 'A Spiritual Journey To Find A Home'.
I offered to adopt her, or at least to become her legal guardian, but things didn't work out and in effect my friend took any hope of this happening away from me after we fell out.
I know this little girl looked upon me as her Dad, and I remember the very last words she spoke to me before I left which were, "I wish you was my Dad".
It broke my heart but I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

I like to think that my friends who have kids, and my ex-girlfriends likewise, will back me up when I say that I'm pretty good with little 'uns.
It's unfortunate that I haven't got any children of my own, and although I've resigned myself to the fact that this will always be the case now, I haven't given up hope entirely...not when there's still plenty of lead left in the old pencil. Having said that, maybe I can't father children and I'm a jaffa (seedless)...who knows?
There was one particular lady in my life, where we decided not to take any precautions but alas no pregnancy materialised...although it wasn't for the lack of trying as we practiced loads!

The bottom line is that I love kids, and in the majority of cases kids love me...so time will tell I guess?

Solo Steve

Love, Sex & Romance

Personally, I feel that love and romance are invariably linked.
There's always been the age old debate concerning men and women's differing views on sex;
women need to be loved to have sex; men need to have sex to feel loved,
but I'm not going to enter into that debate other than saying that I could never truely make love with a woman unless I had true feelings for her.
I'm also a hopeless romantic, although I believe it's not the overblown grand gestures that matter most, but the little, personal and genuinely loving gestures that can win a ladies heart.

For example, I always used to take a cup of tea into my girlfriend if she was starting work after me in the mornings, and when we both had seperate cars I always used to scrape the ice off her car on winter mornings after doing mine, so she wouldn't have to worry with the task herself when it was time for her to leave for work.

Another romantic gesture, although some would say a little foolish under the circumstances, was when I sent my ex-girlfriend her favourite White Lillies on Valentine's Day.
I did this because we were still good friends, and I had the feeling that her current fella wasn't going to bother with anything ~ I just wanted her to know that someone was thinking of her, and I sent the flowers to her workplace to avoid any explainations to her man.

Other acts of unselfishness include temporary postponing a trip abroad, and giving the money originally set aside for this trip, to someone in greater need who I dearly loved.
Then of course there was the case of jacking in my job and moving 70 miles to a strange city, just to be near my then girlfriend...again, I'm not sure if that's love or foolish behaviour? Lol.

And finally, a regular occurence in my life is that being an understanding and patient man, I welcome my woman moaning and letting rip to me about her disasterous day at work, to get it all out of her system.
Then, I usually proceed to run her a hot bath, hand her a glass of wine and then later give her a relaxing massage with scented oils...you see, I said I was a hopeless romantic!

As for sex, well I've always said that a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, and from my experience anybody bragging or boasting about their sex life can mean only one thing...they ain't gettin' any!
But I would like to share with you two little conversations which perfectly illustrate this point.
At this stage I must stress that both incidents actually happened, but the stories within these conversations were pure fiction, made up on the spot.

The first incident happened in a bar one night, when I noticed a mate of mine being hassled by a stranger. When I approached them I discovered this man was banging on about all of his sexploits, boasting about all of the women he had been with, and about all of the various things he had gotten up to.
When his bragging included prostitutes and hookers I leapt into the conversation, with the sole intention of finally shutting him up.
"Oh yeah, I had a hooker myself last night", I interupted.
"Really, what did you get up to? - tell me everything mate", the stranger replied.
"Well, she said that if I took her home she'd do anything for fifty quid", I continued.
The stranger was getting quite excited by my revelation and couldn't wait to hear what happened next.
"So go on then mate, tell me - what did you do?", he insisted.
"Well, for fifty quid I really got my money's worth...after I got her to artex the living room ceiling, I got her to tile above the kitchen sink too!", I joked.
His face was a picture - he stood there open mouthed for a while, then turned around anf left leaving me and my mate in peace.
"Oh, and she did a bloody good job!", I shouted as he departed.

The other incident occurred when I was working in a shop with predominantly 18 - 21 year old girls.
I was in my early thirties at the time, and these girls were very upfront and street-wise so to speak.
They had a reputation for embarrassing male colleagues, and I could tell immediately that I was their next target. I also knew that if I succumbed to their advances and pressure, then my life would be hell so I had to give as good as I got.
On this particular day there were about five or six of these girls talking about their love-lives, and the conversation came around to dangerous places to have sex.
"So Steve - where's the most dangerous place that you've ever done it?", one of the girls piped up, in an obvious attempt to embarrass me.
As quick as a flash I responded, "Oh, that's easy - in a double-bed".
"That isn't very dangerous is it?", she replied.
I kept them waiting for a few seconds before delivering the knockout blow which completely shut them up for good, and I was never bothered again,
"It is dangerous in a double-bed if it's with a married woman, and in the midst of lust and passion you suddenly hear the husband's key in the front door!".

My final comment on Love, Sex & Romance is that I enjoy all three, and preferably all at the same time with the same special lady...I have had this pleasure in the past and I hope to experience this pleasure again somewhen in the not-too-distant future too.

Sole Steve

Wining & Dining

When it comes to wining and dining women, believe it or not I am a bit of a novice!
Most of my relationships just naturally evolve, without the initial dating scenario of meeting up for a drink or a meal. So the only wisdom that I can impart is a few experiences and observations gained over the years.

Firstly, I must state that I enjoy wining and dining the ladies. As I've gotten older I've found that I'd much rather spend their company over a lovely meal ~ great company, good food, and fascinating conversation.
I have recently had the pleasure of sitting outside on a sunny day, sharing a pub lunch with a lovely lady friend, chilled beer in hand...it doesn't get any better than that.

On the flip side to that coin, I can recall going out with a chef for a while.
Believe me this isn't very romantic, as every dish got scrutinised for it's freshness, quality, and appearance. When she said that she could tell instantly whether or not the dish had been reheated in a microwave rather than cooked fresh, I lost my appetite and unsuprisingly the relationship didn't last too long.

I haven't been to too many swanky, posh restaurants in my time in order to try and impress a lady either.
I like to think that so long as the food is of a good standard, and the venue is pleasant then everything else should just fall into place, as it's the company that makes the moment special and memorable.
Having said that, I wouldn't dream of taking a girl to McDonalds for a date...seriously, I've known some mates who have!

I'm also not an authoritive person when it come to wine, but I quickly learn.
Most ladies seem to have their own preferences, so I abide by them and share their tastes accordingly.
Well, it's worked for me so far... a nice glass of a sheraz or a merlot usually does the trick.

When it comes to my own culinery skills I like to stick to tried, tested and trusted methods.
I can cook a mean omelette, and my grilled breakfasts have always gone down well with anyone who happens to have stayed the night.
Like I said before, I tend to snack myself, but I find that most people are also quite partial to one of my legendary cheese and ham toasties when I fancy making one.
The other secret of my success is to ply the women with booze first!
I can slow-cook something in the oven, and whilst they're hungry I make sure I keep the supply of nibbles and savouries available...that's the real secret ~ keep the side dishes of crisps, peanuts and the like topped up at all times and the drink flowing. By the time the main meal comes out, they're either too full or too sozzled to notice anyway!

I guess I'm a simple fella with simple tastes, which also applies to food, but that doesn't neccesarily apply to the women in my life judging from my track record...but hey ho ~ that's life & I ain't complaining!

Sole Steve
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Shop 'Til You Drop!

I find that shopping with women completely depends upon your perspective, and on your specific relationship with the woman concerned.
For instance, shopping with your partner can be more stressful than shopping with a friend who happens to be a lady. Also, the type of shopping can vary the mood accordingly.

Food and grocery shopping is far worse than clothes shopping in my opinion.
I can do my food shopping in any supermarket with no problems whatsoever. I tend to shop in the supermarket which is nearest to where I live, irrespective of price as I think most items even themselves out in the end. In Slough & Bristol it was Tesco, in Bath & Bognor it was Morrisons, in Cheltenham & Chichester it was Waitrose ~ I can adapt to their respective layouts pretty quickly ~ it must be all my previous years working in retail I guess! Lol.
But grocery shopping with one ex-partner in particular was a complete nightmare!
Firstly, it was done on a weekly basis which required the inevitable and lengthy list.
Then I proceeded to push a trolley behind my other-half as she weighs up her options between brand, price, and value on every single item. Two hours later we may have reached the checkout if I was lucky!
And I'm not being a typical man I assure you - I would've quite happily taken the list on my own and completed all the items in a very timely fashion...although no doubt I would've been queried on one or two choices when I got home! Ha ha.

Now, clothes shopping is another matter entirely.
If your partner is trying on clothes and asking for your honest opinion, then you feel like the fella in the latest Fosters Ad - do you tell the truth? Whereas, if you're shopping with a female friend you can be a bit more subjective, and they also seem to welcome your honest view as friends don't tend to hold back.
If your partner asks you, "does my bum look big in this?"; it's not always wise to be honest.
But if a friend asks you the same question...well, what do you reckon, readers?

I must say that I am extremely patient when shopping with women, and I actually quite enjoy it especially if I'm only tagging along and not expected to contribute too much.
To highlight my patience I can recall one time visiting 17 stores along Oxford Street, London with my then girlfriend looking for a pair of jeans, which invariably required three pairs per shop to be tried on in the changing rooms. Over 50 sampled pairs of jeans later and guess what...that's right, we went back to the very first shop to purchase the favoured pair!

Compare this to a lovely day recently spent shopping in Southampton with a good friend, although it was mainly for my benefit.
I knew exactly what I wanted and more-or-less got everything straight away. I then had no problem walking around the ladies boutiques with my friend as she browsed through all the latest trends and fashions.
This was fuelled on a Costa breakfast, and then washed down afterwards with a beer in the sun though it has to be said!

Finally, I must confess to having trouble with identifying clothing for women which I can guarantee that they'd like, as women can be very fussy and particular with their personal preferences...although this is a generalisation as I know of one noticable exception.
There was a lovely lady in my life with a taste in clothes and shoes which I could just pick out straight away.
I could venture into Per Una section in Marks & Spencer and I'd have no problem at all in finding the right item, size and colour for her at any time, in any season...if only all you ladies had similar tastes! Lol.

Solo Steve

Alone Again In The Lap Of Luxury

So what are the pro's and con's of living on your own?

The obvious plus point is that you can do as you please, without having to consider somebody else.
On the spur of the moment you can just go ahead with whatever you suddenly feel like doing.
The downside is feeling lonely and isolated sometimes. I'm quite happy in my own company, but I know which I'd much rather prefer.

Then there is the 'domestic bliss' side of things. You can leave your house or flat in a right state, with nobody to politely remind you to tidy up the place...but hold on a minute ~ this isn't me!

As no doubt my ex-girlfriends will testify, I am extremely tidy, house-proud and domesticated.
I do all my own cleaning, washing and ironing, and I can cook to a certain extent. Living on your own doesn't bode well with cooking I find, so I tend to 'snack' throughout the day.
As for being tidy, well it's inevitable that after living with a sufferer of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) for a long time, certain traits of this condition were bound to rub off onto me. But I like to think it's more a case of always living in small apartments with restricted space, which makes me keep things in their place and remain very minimalistic with regards to my possessions.
The funny thing is that I am never happier than when I'm living with a woman.
Even if it's only been for a short while, I've always loved having all of her underwear strewn across the place, and the flat taking on a real lived-in appearance.

Women can have a tendency to take over the bathroom however!
Being a bloke who shaves his head, my accessories and smellies are minimal, as my only real grooming products can fit into a small washbag if neccesary.
The other funny thing about women I've found is that generally they are very conscious of getting ready, putting on their make-up, and fixing their hair.
I just love lying in bed as they parade around in their lingerie, trying to get all their 'stuff' together, then watching as they proceed to get ready.
When it comes to me all I have to worry about is a quick shower, brush my teeth, put on my smellies and buff my head! Lol.

Sharing a bed is another interesting topic, and for now all I'm talking about is actually sleeping!
I'm a very light sleeper, some would even say I'm an insomniac, so the very slight movement by my partner in bed can awake me instantly. Not that I'm complaining as it's one of the lovelier things in life ~ watching and listening to your lover sleeping...and I mean this is a loving, caring way ~ not in a creepy way I assure you!
One of the positive aspects of working a nightshift with certain jobs was that my partner didn't have to worry about waking me up, as they had the bed all to themselves during the night, but if I timed it right I could return in the moring either for a quick snuggle up, or at the very least to an empty but warm bed!

Another good thing about being single is walking down the street and noticing a pretty lady without feeling guilty! Unlike most men I can do this quite discreetly, and it's a lovely to sometimes have a smile reciprocated. I may not be a Brad Pitt lookalike, but I do still appreciate a fine looking woman, and some ladies say that I possess a certain twinkle in my eye, with a cheeky-chappy sort of aura...and this has served me well over the years! Lol.
The negative side of this is that I'd much rather walk down the street hand-in-hand with the love of my life.
So I guess it's swings and roundabouts isn't it?

Overall, I can honestly say that I'm easily adaptable whether I'm living on my own or living with a woman.
And I can also honestly say that after experiencing both and being very comfortable being on my own, I'd much rather live with a special lady in my life...any takers?

Solo Steve

Trying To Understand Women

In my attempts to understand women I have come to the following conclusions:

1. The more you know about women, the less you actually understand about them.
2. Never argue with a lady...as even when she's wrong, she's actually right.
3. Women are strange creatures...but I love 'em to bits!

I guess I lived my life backwards to a certain extent.
Settled down with a missus at 19 and tied down with a mortgage, then free and single at 30...and apart from a few short-term relationships, that's how I've remained ever since!
I do like to think that I understand women though...sort of.
With one notable exception, I still get on with my ex-girlfriends, and generally all the break-ups in my life have been pretty amicable and painless.

I think part of the reason for not being able to sustain a long-term relationship stems from my ability to be a magnet to women with issues, and for my caring and generous nature.
By this I mean that I seem to fill a vacancy in their lives and I become a transitional boyfriend.
What invariably happens is that a lovely lady has been through a tough time, or mistreated by their ex-boyfriend or husband, and they latch onto me.
I shower them with some tender, loving care; pamper them; spoil them where possible, and generally make them feel a whole lot better about themselves.
Feeling like a new woman, they then inform me that they need some space and now that they are mended and feeling strong enough, they wish to live on their own.
Usually within a few months they've either settled down for a new long-lasting relationship with someone else, or gone back to their mistreating ex!
But at least I know, that I've helped them through the tough times, and made them feel really appreciated, so I guess I have done some good after all...it might not help me out in the process, but that's life!

Despite all of this, I still adore women. It could be expected that after all the heartbreak and woe I've experienced, I should leave women well alone...but I can't do that because as I said at the top of this blog,
"I love 'em to bits!"
I'll end this blog with a classic line taken from the wonderful sitcom Porridge, when Barrowclogh (the Prison Officer) informs Fletch (the Inmate) that his wife has just left him.
He attempts to be all philosophical about it all by initially saying:
"Ah well, you know what they say - it's better to have loved and lost...",
before delivering the knockout punchline:
"...than spend your whole ruddy life with her!"

Solo Steve

Welcome To My Brand New Blog

Welcome to my brand new blog, entitled 'Observations of a Single Male'.
This is my take on living in the modern world as a single man, and all the various issues and viewpoints from my own personal perspective.

Ever since a long-term romance ended a lifetime ago, I have very much lived a batchelor's existence.
Not that I'm complaining as I've enjoyed some very precious times with some exceptionally special women, but for one reason or another a long lasting relationship hasn't proved sustainable for me...although it's not for the want of trying I can assure you.
There are some lovely ladies in my life, most of them dear friends as you can see from my Facebook contacts, and they include women that will always have a special place in my heart, so I sincerely hope that they will all enjoy reading these blogs as they unfold.
I also wish that all my female friends will testify that I'm not chauvenistic, and that I am very much in touch with my feminine side, with a very giving, kind, sensitive and caring nature...but at the end of the day it's probably best if I let them be the judge of that!

So I shall be exploring and recalling some of my past experiences, whilst remaining true to my principles of not naming names - as gentlemen don't kiss and tell - and I'll be sharing my observations on a variety of topics such as:

• trying to understand women.
• the differences between living with women and living alone.
• shopping with women.
• wining & dining women.
• love, sex & romance...but not neccesarily in that order!
• babies & children.
• dating agencies.
• escort agencies.
• nethanderal men & abusive boyfriends/husbands.
• materialistic women.
• the perks & downsides of being single.
• keeping in touch with your ex-girlfriends.
• coping at specific times as a single person.

I'm sure you get the drift by now, and no doubt there'll be other issues which will be written about.
I'll also be asking the essential questions such as:
Can you really be just good friends with the opposite sex?
Why do all women that stay over on a Saturday night insist on watching the Hollyoaks Omnibus on a Sunday morning?
And why do women always seem to want to fatten me up?
Please note ladies that his is now impossible...one week after coming off my meds and I feel fine, but I can no longer eat the finer and fattening foods in life ~ the way to my heart won't be through my stomach! Lol.

Finally, I'll try to provide the answers as to why I'm forever destined to be a 'transitional boyfriend'.

I sincerely hope you like my observations and can laugh along with my comments, as my wit and wisdom(?) and candid humour is definitely not meant to offend anyone at all.

Enjoy...I hope?

Nomadic Steve is now resting in peace, so I'll sign off under my new name:
Solo Steve